I get very forlorn when a grown man is on the brink of crying, because I feel it means they are deeply sad. Not just sad, but DEEPLY sad. I had to tell one of my clients today that he needs to find a job first, and that it may take up to a year for him to go back to school because of finances. He looked at me and said with tears in his eyes
"Brittani, I really want to start my education so that I can get a good job. Please help me."
I tried to explain to him that we will start the process, because I want him to get a education as well. In fact that is the one thing I want all my clients to get. But that he needs to focus on securing his basic needs, which means getting a job. It didn't seem to comfort him though.
Sometimes my clients have so much stress in their lifes that when I deny them anything even for a time they get so overwhelemed to the point of tears. This brings me to tears, because I understand how they feel because I have been there. Yet, I also want to show them that there is proably a better way. If they just wait for a season all of their wants and desires will come true.
This gave me a glimpse into my own life, and how I have been begging God to bring someone into my life. Everyday I tell him "Lord why not now. Why can't you send him now. Where is he?". I get upset with it taking so long. Another love here then lost.
Right guy, wrong time. Right time, wrong guy. New guy old lines, old guy new lies.
Yet with this experience I realized that sometimes we see what we want, and don't see that it WILL come to us we just have to wait for the right time. And that when I cry God hears and feels my pain.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Grown men crying
Posted by Brittani at 4:50 PM 1 comments
Monday, December 21, 2009
I keep on forgetting to forget about you--jojo
Thinking back when we got together
In our hearts we were saying forever
So in love, boy we were so in love, mmm
Jealousy wasn't what we wanted, we broke up
And when you looked into my eyes I should of spoke up
And held you near, then I wouldn't be alone
And here it comes again
Cause I remember every word that you said
It all just keeps spinning around in my head
But it don't matter what I try to do
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
And I don't want to think about you baby so much
All the things we did and the way that we touched
Just when I think about someone new
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
Forget about you, forget about
Watch me turn around and forget, forget about you
Forget about me and you
I would be crazy to say that we were perfect
And sometimes I was wondering if it was worth it
But now I see, how could you run from me?
And everytime I drive by your apartment
I get this overwhelming urge to walk in
And see your face and to be in that place all over again
Cause I remember every word that you said
It all just keeps spinning around in my head
But it don't matter what I try to do
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
And I don't want to think about you baby so much
All the things we did and the way that we touched
Just when I think about someone new
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
Forget about you, forget about
Watch me turn around and forget, forget about you
Forget about me and you
The way we laughed, the way we kissed
I never though that I would miss
All the things I used to complain about you
The football games, the hometown friends
I'm just glad to see an end
But tell me why I feel so alone without you?
Ooo oh, Oooh, Yeah,
Here it comes again
Cause I remember every word that you said
It all just keeps spinning around in my head
But it don't matter what I try to do
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
And I don't want to think about you baby so much
(I don't want to think about you baby so much)
All the things we did and the way that we touched (we touched)
Just when I think about someone new (new)
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
(I keep on forgetting to forget about you)
Cause I remember every word that you said
It all just keeps spinning around in my head (head)
But it don't matter what I try to do
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
(I keep on forgetting to forget about you)
Forget about you, forget about
Watch me turn around and forget, forget about you
Forget about me and you
Posted by Brittani at 6:02 PM 41 comments
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Sometimes I hate the Recession
I learned today that one of the hardest things in life is seeing one of my refugees clients get depressed on not finding a job. I wish I could take his pain away, and show him that he will eventually get a job. Yet, the stress of getting taken off of financial assitance soon is too much for some. Please if you know of any jobs tell me so we can get him a job.
He is fantastic
Eritrean
Repsonsible
and REALLY NICE!
Posted by Brittani at 8:16 PM 0 comments
Friday, November 6, 2009
The Simple Things in One's Life Is a Grand Adventure in Anothers
I love, adore, am tickled, nostalgic by my job. It is one of the most fullfiling things that I have ever done in my life. In fact it has changed my life. To me this is my "2" year mission. God has blessed me in this regard to help so many of his wonderful children. I even choke up a little thinking of each indiviual I have met so far, and how much I love them. It is as if God has given me a glimpse into how much he loves his children.
One of my favorite things about working with refugees is seeing through their eyes a new world. Things that are so innate to me, so simple, background, are new wonders to some. I never get tierd seeing the reaction of a client riding the Salt Lake City glass elevator to the top floor. The squeels of laughter they make as they go higher and higher.
Yesterday we took a group of congolese refugees to the top of the library building. All of the sudden an older man stopped and pointed at a tree. In my mind I thought he liked the tree because of the fall coloring it was reciving. Yet, his daughter--who speaks english--explained he was suprised that a tree could grow on the top of a building and wanted to take a picture to send his family and friends.
Or taking a group of professionals that need to get re-certfied in their field to see how large and beautiful the Universty of Utah campus is. Or taking refugees to a skate park to witness for their first time people doing crazy stunts on a board with wheels.
Or taking a refugee family to their First haloween festival where they marvel at people wearing outfits fit for a princess, cowboy, or star trek character.
I love MY JOB!!!!
Posted by Brittani at 4:38 PM 0 comments
Sunday, October 18, 2009
So this weekend I was surfing the TV, and came across this documentry called Crazy Sexy Cancer. Learning about cancer is not something that I would usually pause and watch, but there was something about this documentry, and the person filiming it ( Kris Carr) that was very applicable to almost everyone in this world.
Kris is so genuine, vulnerable, and has such an endearing personality that you just can't help but relate and be sucked into her world. I loved the documentary so much that I picked up a few of her books at the library, and also looked at her website http://www.crazysexylife.com . Although these other items were good I believe the documentary is the most special out of the bunch. Here is a little video about her, and the documentary. Enjoy
Crazy Sexy Cancer promo from Crazy Sexy Life on Vimeo.
Welcome to CSL! from Crazy Sexy Life on Vimeo.
Posted by Brittani at 8:27 PM 0 comments
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Sick
Posted by Brittani at 11:46 AM 0 comments
Monday, October 5, 2009
Pakistan and the UN
Yes , I know what happend yesterday in Pakistan. I have put off talking about it because it creates a little sore spot in my heart. This suicide bomb hit me on many levels this time. Not only because it was in PAkistan, but because it was on the people of the UN. The UN is a champion for human rights including those of refugees. In fact this is the group that hosts refugees in camps, gives them food, shelter, and saftey from harm. Those that died were those that worked tirelessly to feed those in need of food.
My heart is overwhelmed with grief ,and sorrow, for those that lost a mother, daughter, sister, brother, son, father, and friend. The person who did this seemed not to know how precious these people were to their families. That is what hurts most about this situation. These were God's children who brought light to their families, and now that light is gone. God bless those families. Please remember to pray for them tonight that they may, in time, feel comfort.
love,
brittani
Posted by Brittani at 8:39 PM 0 comments
Baklava, Key Lime Pie, Fresh pie OH MY!
So this weekend I kind of went on a cooking binge....
Posted by Brittani at 9:18 AM 20 comments
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Indian/Pakistani food and American deserets
So I have been on somewhat of a cooking spree this past weekend and begining of this week. Usually I tottaly try to avoid cooking because A. I don't have time B. I don't have skill. Yet, with me being graduated, and now having nothing to do on the weekend or weeknights, I have been able to spread my wings.
When I usually learn a new recipie I follow written instructions only to miss a step or two. This time I learned how to correct this error by watching youtube.com cooking videos. You tube is really the bomb...In a about an hour I was able to learn how to make Punjabi Samosas ,and and apple crip desert.
The punjabi Samaosas were supposed to look like nice beautiful trangles such as the picture below, but ended up being wrapped in various ways as I tried to emmulate the design. They tasted delicous, though, with cooked potatoes, black beans, ginger, curry spice, garlic, and other yummy spices stuffed in the shell. The apple crisp, that I also made, was delicious. It was created with fresh applies, had a cinnamon mixture on top, and drizzled with butter.
Today I tried my hand at a new pakistani dish called Tikka Masala. It is a pakistani sauce that has tomatoes, peppers, chicken, and yougurt in it. Once that was cooked I then added it to rice. It was one spicy dish, yet delicous! I made enough to last me for a week! For deseret I was able to make homemade choclate brownies.
This new cooking adventure has made me feel really domestic. I don't know if it is the fall weather setting in that yearns for me to have some nostaligic comfort or what , but I am enjoying it.
My next adventure will have to be something made out of curry as one of my clients gave me a whole bottle of authentic curry powder....If you have any recipies feel free to comment or send them to my e-mail.
love,
Brittani
Posted by Brittani at 9:50 PM 0 comments
Monday, September 28, 2009
A Wonderful Hike
So I was able to go hiking this saturday with a few of our Iraqi refugees in Big cotton wood canyon. It was a very interesting experience :). We all started off pumped to go on the hike only to all be out of breath, and cursing, five minutes into it. The younger boys would run ahead then wait for us like we were all old and crippled. I would keep reassuring them that the lake we were climbing to was only " right around the corner" , only to be wrong. LOL.
By the end of the hike I was pushing up some of the girls, while a little while later they were pulling me along. Every once in a while one of the Iraqi girls would curse her mother in Arabic telling her she was going to "kill her" when she got home. I was somewhat amused by the phrase considering she came from a war torn country where death is occuring everyday.
When we finally got to the lake, though, it was beautiful! My co-workers and I forgot our lunches only to have the Iraqi families over prepared with food. They had thought of us and brought each of us a sandwich, several pieces of fruits, chips, soda, and chocolate. It was a delectable feast! We ended the visit to the lake by all standing on a rock and Shouting IRC ( International rescue committee), America, and then teased about yelling " Green card, and Refugee"... :)
Posted by Brittani at 7:18 PM 0 comments
Small miracles bring BIG Blessings
So many things have been going on in my life that have been so good, hard, bad, spiritual, excellent. Sort of like a rollar coaster ride. So I guess what I would first like to start with is the most recent event. So as many of you know my fiance currently resides in Pakistan, and for the past three years we have been trying to figure out a way for me to get there. It has been a very long struggle, and has not always been easy on the relationship. Yet, this bond that we have we know is correct, and of God. We both know without a shadow of a doubt that we are meant to be together.
During this past weekend we have decided to fast. Me, tom, and a bunch of my friends held a fast to allow God to bless us, to guide me, and to help with the action of our meeting. I prayed with every furber of my being to have God listen to us. Slowly I am seeing those blessing come to pass.
It is amazing how you think maybe God has forgotten about you. How maybe things are not supposed to happen at all. Yet you are soon corrected. Today I was in tears all day trying to figure out what to do. I went back and forth between peace, fear, Doubt , and faith. I talked to Tom which led us through arguing to love, to arguing, and back agian. Frustration to understanding. I felt confused...Yet as the day progressed blessing's in which I have prayed for started coming to past. So much so that I started to see a little light leading toward our progression. I can't go into too much detail about it because of the location, but it is a miracle non the less. During this time I was reminded of many little blessings happing like this in our relationship.
For example as you may guess phone calls to another country are so much money. I would call on weekdays, and Tom on weekends. After a while this also became a burden on our relationship. One day I found this calling service that allowed us to call each other for free. Talk about a blessing! This , though, ended after a month and I was saddend agian. I prayed that somehow the service would be restored....I prayed..but nothing came causing me to think that maybe I was not being heard....about a week later, though, I got a survey in my inbox from my service provider offering me a wallop of free minutes to pakistan just for taking a costumer survey! This may seem simple to some, but this is just ONE of many small miracles God has given to me and Tom during our three years together...It reminds me that God is forever aware of us, and that he cares for us. I love that! I hope to always be happy, and hopeful in his presence.
Before I go I would also like to give you a little article I read during my time fasting that gave me so much peace. Hopefully those reading it may apply it to their lives. Also if you would like to particpate in fasting every sunday with me and Tom in regards to our meeting I would be so greatful! :)
Love, Brittani
he first was from a New Era Article entitled Worth the Wait:
When I entered the Buenos Aires Argentina
Temple with the youth of my ward to do
baptisms for the dead, we waited a few
minutes in a reception room. Then the temple workers
asked us to go down a hall where there were several
chairs and to wait again.
Because it was a Saturday, many people had come to
the temple from all over Argentina. We waited there for
two and a half hours, just sitting quietly. Some not very
pleasant thoughts began to run through my mind: “How
can they make us wait all this time? I’m tired, and apparently
it would have been better if I hadn’t come, because
this is a waste of time.”
I got up and started walking down the hall. Soon one of
the workers came out and said: “Young people, please don’t
be impatient. I understand that you have been waiting for a
long time, but do you know something? In the spirit world
millions of people have been waiting for this moment for
centuries, and I can assure you
that they are very anxious for
their turn to come. The brethren
are baptizing and confi rming,
and they cannot do more
than they are doing.”
When he said these
words, I felt embarrassed. I
realized that I was being selfish
because I didn’t want to
give hours for those people
who had waited such long
years and who did not have
the opportunity I had to hear
about the true Church and
be baptized on earth.
The worker came out again,
and he began to call names
from our ward. A sister gave us white clothing that more or
less fi t. After we got dressed, she pulled back our hair and
tied it with a white tie.
Then, barefoot, we walked to the benches in the
baptistry. The carpets were so soft and high it was as if
we weren’t even walking on the ground.
When it was my turn, I was as nervous as if it were the
day of my own baptism. But the workers were so nice and
they had such patience with each of us that it felt incredible.
When I came out of the font, a sister was waiting for
me with a big white towel and a huge smile. I changed my
clothes and went into a room where I was confi rmed. The
same sister who had given me the towel went with me and
thanked me for being willing to do the Lord’s work.
When I left the temple, I realized it had been one of
the best experiences of my life. The temple is a holy place
and the Lord’s Spirit is there, directing His great work. It is
worth any wait. NE
Posted by Brittani at 7:04 PM 0 comments