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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Beautiful Life histories:: Beautiful Bus Riding



I remember throughout my life always riding public transportation. At first I hated it. My mom would never drive me anywhere. I would have to take the bus to the mall, friends, church etc. Yet, something special always happened on the bus, and that was the unity of community. As I grew and bounced back and forth between parents I found I would feel trapped if I could not just hop on a bus and go. I loved the freedom and independence would bring. I could leave my world behind me, and explore the world yet undiscovered!

This love for public transportation grew even more as I moved to Salt Lake City for my last two years of high school. I loved taking trax, buses, and walking  anywhere my heart desired! During this time I was able to meet random people on the street, and these people became my friends; they became a part of my life just by being in the same spot everyday.

Walking past a parking lot I remember saying hi every day to a 30 year old Hispanic attendant. I would never know if he was in there until  I walked by and the blinds from his hub would suddenly whisk open, and his beautiful smile would beam as he waved frantically to me.

 Down the road I would walk past the ever present homeless person as we exchanged smiles and nods. Next I would walk past the LDS temple as I exchanged glances with another parking attendant. The bus drivers also became my friends.

Our lives became in sync as the bus driver would tell me about her kids, and I would tell her about school. If one day I forgot my bus pass it was not a problem, because she knew I would have it  next time. This bond helped us protect each other as one day a man that lost his temper attacked another man. We both stood up, and screamed our hearts out at him! "Hey!" we yelled " Get off the BUS!", and he did!

All of these people became a part of my life, and I was blessed to have them sprinkled like sugar into it!

As I started  driving my car to work everyday I lost that. I missed it. It became the one thing I desired the most. Seeing the world pass you by as you , only you, drive past it offers you nothing. I did not get the fulfilling glances of a stranger. Instead I got the self loathing of my brain.

Luckily this only lasted 6 months, and I am now on the bus again! The effects of me being on the bus have  re-surfaced as four people touched my heart, and made me ponder the sweetness, sorrows, and mysteries of life today.

On the way to work there was a mother, and her baby, playing with each other. The baby obviously adored her , and was sweetly caressing her face. He would smile as the mom whisked him up into the air. It was a sweet bond. I find it beautiful the connection between a mom and her baby. It is one of the most beautiful things in this world.  That was not the highlight, though.

Across the way was an older man looking fondly at the pair as they snuggled, caressed, and played with each other. His face seemed to endearingly enjoy the two, yet also had look of longing  as well. It made me wonder where his wife was? How many children did he have? Was this something that was in his life, but was soon taken hostage by time? Did he have memories of his own precious wife cuddling their baby? It just made me wonder how much of a blessing family can be, and also that those precious moments are short lived, and in the future must be re-lived through other people.

When I switched to take trax another individual caught my eye. Living in Downtown Salt Lake for five years I have become adequet in recognizing someone that lives on the street. The are usually men, have a hiking bag strapped to their back, and wear layers and layers of clothing. This was one of those men. This man caught my eye today because there were tears coming from his eyes. At first I thought maybe it was because he was older ( 50-60), and it was just fluid discharging. Yet, reading the emotions from his face it made me think maybe not...

 At first I was a little concerned. Thoughts started going through my mind of what I could do? Do I have money I can give him? no....Should I say a kind word? what if he thinks I am a freak?...Maybe I will just say a prayer? ok...I will say a prayer. When I looked again at his face, though, he did not seem to be crying out of sorrow, but a smile was on his face. Did something touch him earlier? Was he thinking of his family that he is not in contact with anymore? Did at first that bring him sorrow, but then happiness as he remembered them fondly? My questions were not answered, but just by the mere riding on the bus he changed my day for the better.

The others also changed my life for the better. Instead of focusing on my own life I was treated at seeing a glimpse of their lives! What a pleasure it was!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Grown men crying

I get very forlorn when a grown man is on the brink of crying, because I feel it means they are deeply sad. Not just sad, but DEEPLY sad. I had to tell one of my clients today that he needs to find a job first, and that it may take up to a year for him to go back to school because of finances. He looked at me and said with tears in his eyes

"Brittani, I really want to start my education so that I can get a good job. Please help me."

I tried to explain to him that we will start the process, because I want him to get a education as well. In fact that is the one thing I want all my clients to get. But that he needs to focus on securing his basic needs, which means getting a job. It didn't seem to comfort him though.


Sometimes my clients  have so much stress in their lifes that when I deny them anything even for a time they get so overwhelemed to the point of tears. This brings me to tears, because I understand how they feel because I have been there. Yet, I also want to show them that there is proably a better way. If they just wait for a season all of their wants and desires will come true.

This gave me a glimpse into my own life, and how I have been begging God to bring someone into my life. Everyday I tell him "Lord why not now. Why can't you send him now. Where is he?". I get upset with it taking so long. Another love here then lost.


Right guy, wrong time. Right time, wrong guy. New guy old lines, old guy new lies.


Yet with this experience I realized that sometimes we see what we want, and don't see that it WILL come to us we just have to wait for the right time. And that when I cry God hears and feels my pain.

Monday, December 21, 2009

I keep on forgetting to forget about you

Thinking back when we got together
In our hearts we were saying forever
So in love, boy we were so in love, mmm
Jealousy wasn't what we wanted, we broke up
And when you looked into my eyes I should of spoke up
And held you near, then I wouldn't be alone
And here it comes again

Cause I remember every word that you said
It all just keeps spinning around in my head
But it don't matter what I try to do
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
And I don't want to think about you baby so much
All the things we did and the way that we touched
Just when I think about someone new
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
Forget about you, forget about
Watch me turn around and forget, forget about you
Forget about me and you

I would be crazy to say that we were perfect
And sometimes I was wondering if it was worth it
But now I see, how could you run from me?
And everytime I drive by your apartment
I get this overwhelming urge to walk in
And see your face and to be in that place all over again

Cause I remember every word that you said
It all just keeps spinning around in my head
But it don't matter what I try to do
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
And I don't want to think about you baby so much
All the things we did and the way that we touched
Just when I think about someone new
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
Forget about you, forget about
Watch me turn around and forget, forget about you
Forget about me and you

The way we laughed, the way we kissed
I never though that I would miss
All the things I used to complain about you
The football games, the hometown friends
I'm just glad to see an end
But tell me why I feel so alone without you?
Ooo oh, Oooh, Yeah,
Here it comes again

Cause I remember every word that you said
It all just keeps spinning around in my head
But it don't matter what I try to do
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
And I don't want to think about you baby so much
(I don't want to think about you baby so much)
All the things we did and the way that we touched (we touched)
Just when I think about someone new (new)
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
(I keep on forgetting to forget about you)

Cause I remember every word that you said
It all just keeps spinning around in my head (head)
But it don't matter what I try to do
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
(I keep on forgetting to forget about you)
Forget about you, forget about
Watch me turn around and forget, forget about you
Forget about me and you

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Sometimes I hate the Recession

I learned today that one of the hardest things in life is seeing one of my refugees clients get depressed on not finding a job. I wish I could take his pain away, and show him that he will eventually get a job. Yet, the stress of getting taken off of financial assitance soon is too much for some. Please if you know of any jobs tell me so we can get him a job.

He is fantastic
Eritrean
Repsonsible
and REALLY NICE!

Friday, November 6, 2009

The Simple Things in One's Life Is a Grand Adventure in Anothers

I love, adore, am tickled, nostalgic by my job. It is one of the most fullfiling things that I have ever done in my life. In fact it has changed my life. To me this is my "2" year mission. God has blessed me in this regard to help so many of his wonderful children. I even choke up a little thinking of each indiviual I have met so far, and how much I love them. It is as if God has given me a glimpse into how much he loves his children.

One of my favorite things about working with refugees is seeing through their eyes a new world. Things that are so innate to me, so simple, background, are new wonders to some. I never get tierd seeing the reaction of a client riding the Salt Lake City glass elevator to the top floor. The squeels of laughter they make as they go  higher and higher.




 Yesterday we took a group of congolese refugees to the top of the library building. All of the sudden an older man stopped and pointed at a tree. In my mind I thought he liked the tree because of the fall coloring it was reciving. Yet, his daughter--who speaks english--explained he was suprised that a tree could grow on the top of a building and wanted to take a picture to send his family and friends.



Or taking a group of professionals that need to get re-certfied in their field to see how large and beautiful the Universty of Utah campus is. Or taking refugees to a skate park to witness for their first time people doing crazy stunts on a board with wheels.



 Or taking a refugee family to their First haloween festival where they marvel at people wearing outfits fit for a princess, cowboy, or star trek character.

I love MY JOB!!!!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

So this weekend I was surfing the TV, and came across this documentry called Crazy Sexy Cancer. Learning about cancer is not something that I would usually pause and watch, but there was something about this documentry, and the person filiming it ( Kris Carr) that was very applicable to almost everyone in this world.

Kris is so genuine, vulnerable, and has such an endearing personality that you just can't help but relate and be sucked into her world.  I loved the documentary so much that I picked up a few of her books at the library, and also looked at her website http://www.crazysexylife.com . Although these other items were good I believe the documentary is the most special out of the bunch. Here is a little video about her, and the documentary. Enjoy


Crazy Sexy Cancer promo from Crazy Sexy Life on Vimeo.



Welcome to CSL! from Crazy Sexy Life on Vimeo.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Sick



With the newness of my job, and having clients coughing on me A LOT lately, I was bound to soon get sick. This week I have been "putting it off" though as I had so much stuff I both needed and wanted to get done. We had the career fair for our refugee clients which consisted of me making each one of them a folder with their resumes, and a prompt sheet. On top of that we took a group of them, 20 in total, to the mountains to experience Olympic site sees from the 2002 Olympics in Utah,









 the beauty of the mountain side-- which included for many of them their first viewing of snow (amazing how each culture automatically thinks it is fun to just pick up snow and chuck it at people), and a tour of park city.











Suffice it to say the added work stress, toppled with cold weather of our trip yesterday-- no matter how fun it was-- exacerbated my cold. I ended up waking up with swelling all over my throat. So I ended up going and getting some herbal tea at the store.


This was my first time drinking herbal tea because my religion prohibits tea...although many of my lds friends explained that this was only for green and black tea NOT herbal tea. After looking it up on my church's website to make sure it confirmed that it was indeed ok to drink herbal tea. 








I got few different blends which included apple cinnamon with an infusion of chamomile, orange peel, and hibiscus. The other was a licorice infusion that said it would help with respiratory distress. So far I have liked the apple spice MUCH better. 


Please send me happy thoughts and prayers that I may get better before work starts again Tuesday.


Love,
Brittani